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A leading blog on the science of sex, love, and relationships, written by social psychologist Dr. Justin Lehmiller. Cuckolding is a sexual practice in which one is aroused by the idea of watching or listening to their partner have sex with someone else. So what about women? How many women are into the idea of cuckolding? And are the factors that draw women to it similar or different from the factors that draw men to it? I surveyed 4, Americans about their sexual fantasies and cuckolding was among the many interests I inquired about.
As these s reveal, cuckolding fantasies in general both voyeuristic and exhibitionistic are quite common; however, there are some interesting gender differences. In general, women are more likely to fantasize about exhibitionistic cuckolding being watched by their partner than they are to fantasize about voyeuristic cuckolding watching their partner. By contrast, men are more likely to fantasize about voyeuristic cuckolding than they are exhibitionistic cuckolding. So twice as many men say voyeuristic cuckolding is a frequent fantasy of theirs compared to exhibitionistic cuckolding.
In short, there seems to be a gender difference in the types of cuckolding roles that are most appealing to self-identified men and women. Why is that? By envisioning themselves in an exhibitionistic role, one necessarily becomes the object of desire, unlike when one takes a voyeuristic role. So maybe this speaks more broadly to the ways in which men and women tend to see themselves in their fantasies. While there appears to be a gender difference in preferred cuckolding roles, the profiles of men and women who are into cuckolding are quite similar in many ways.
Across genders and sexual orientations, both voyeuristic and exhibitionistic cuckolding are linked to:. However, there were a few gender differences that emerged. Specifically, for heterosexual women only, there was no link between cuckolding fantasies and self-esteem.
By contrast, for men of all orientations and for non-heterosexual women, having cuckolding fantasies was linked to reporting higher self-esteem. In other words, straight women were the one group for whom cuckolding fantasies were not linked to how they felt about themselves or their level of self-confidence. Lastly, for men—regardless of sexual orientation—being high in the personality trait of conscientiousness i. This a very preliminary look at the nature of cuckolding fantasies and how they vary across gender.
More research is certainly needed, but these findings tell us a few important things. Second, the types of cuckolding scenarios that people fantasize about most are related to gender, with women fantasizing more about having sex as their partner watches, and men fantasizing more about being the watcher. As discussed above, perhaps this is a function of broader differences in the ways that men and women tend to see themselves in their fantasies.
Thus, while men and women tend to prefer different cuckolding roles, what draws them to cuckolding in the first place seems to be more similar than it is different. Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? for articles or follow the blog on Facebook facebook. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Dr. This site contains affiliate links to various books and products, which send a small commission back to help keep the site up and running and continue educating people around the world about sex.
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Everything You Need to Know About Cuckolding