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Under this umbrella, pegging is especially fraught with stigma and mystique. If you're a vagina-owner who's been wondering how to go about your first time peggingknow this: There are a lot of moving parts literally when it comes to the physical and emotional success of this back-door operation.
First off, what does it mean to peg someone?
Pegging, by definitionis the "the sexual act of a woman anally penetrating a man with the use of a dildo or strap-on," according to sexologist and reproductive justice activist Michelle Hope. Anal penetration can also come in the form of fingering, using a vibrator, and using your tongue on the anusaka rimming.
In general, those who like butt stuff say it feels "dirty, in a sexy way" and "hot. And then take it into the partnered space. Pegging is pleasurable for the person getting pegged as well as the pegger, because of the way it plays with and subverts traditional gender roles.
Typically, women and femmes are the receiving partner in heterosexual sex.
The chance that pegging offers women to penetrate and even dominate in bedtoo? That can be super exciting. Here is everything you need to know about pegging your partner for the first time. Anal sex is no different from other kinds of sex in that consent and safety should be your top priorities.
Not only should all parties consent to sex, but the receiving partner needs to consent to being pegged specifically — you shouldn't just spring that on someone. Hope recommends establishing a safe wordwhich is, in their words, "a clear unambiguous al to communicate a stop to sexual activity. Along with consent and safety, communication should also be a priority — especially when it comes to pegging. The stigma around pegging is often based in homophobia. Some people think that only a gay woman would use a strap-on or only a gay man would like to be anally penetrated. One crucial aspect of anal sex is that the anus is not self-lubricating.
I repeat: The anus is not self-lubricating.
What's more is that the anal sphincter, a muscle that Hope calls the "doorman to the rectum," needs to relax. Your partner's sphincter relaxing isn't just a matter of pegging position — it's about them being in the right hepace. If you know that music relaxes your partner, you can put on your fave Spotify sexy time playlist. You can also give them a sensual massage as foreplay or engage in a bit of dirty talk to set the mood — whatever it is that helps them feel at ease.
You can also reaffirm to them that you two can check in or stop at any time. Another thing to consider during anal sex is protection. Condoms and latex gloves make excellent barriers against bodily fluids and bacteria, namely E. It's important to remember that oil-based lubes wear down latex — therefore making it less effective.
So just be mindful of what kind of lube you're picking up if you're also going to use latex products.
One latex glove pro-tip from Hope: If you have long nails or love acrylics, put cotton balls on the tips of your fingers and then put on the latex gloves. It'll prevent you from being "an Edward Scissorhands nightmare for someone's sphincter," they say. If you've never done anal before, it's important to be realistic and know that you can't just jump straight to pegging.
Not only will pegging take a few tries, but you might want to work your way up to a strap-on with a butt-plug or anal be first. This gets the receiving partner's sphincter used to opening up. It can also aid in determining how much they can take. Open communication between both parties is crucial. So is the receiving partner being vocal about what is pleasurable for them.
Welcome to the rectum! Exploring anal sex and pegging means poop is never far away. Hope recommends that the partner being pegged focuses on their food and water intake hours prior to anal play. Lots of water, fruit, and veggies should put the receiver on the right track. Of course, like any kind of sex, it will always come down to what works best for you and your partner.
There will be trial and error. Just as chit-chatting about anal safety, consent, boundaries, kinks, and desires is imperative beforehand, so is communicating during and after. Hope says it's critical to "be understanding and willing to talk though the good, the bad, and messy.
They also urge you and your partner to engage in some aftercare. A term popularized in the BDSM community, aftercare is a non-sexual debrief after sex. What worked? What didn't? This convo is necessary, especially when partners are exploring new sexual acts. This is just a good way to maintain a loving and supportive sex life between all parties involved.
As always, with any kind of sex, patience, consent, and communication is key. And when it comes to pegging, those three elements are especially important in order to leave stress and discomfort behind you when trying something new in the bedroom. Michelle Hope, sexologist and reproductive justice activist. Updated: June 21, Originally Published: Aug. But t First, Consent. And So Is Comfort. Search Close.How to peg a man
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